Black Holes and Revelations

Our apartment is undergoing drastic renovation, and by that I mean that we are hanging things on the walls for a change.  I, having the most free time, am addressing this issue the most head-on, and have printed and framed a few photos that I took on various trips to countries other than the U.S.  Next step: determining where they go!  In the mean time, I thought I would put up the photos here as a demi-post in the same vein as “Some Music I Wrote“.

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Caveats: It is long, and it is on the topic of marriage.  It is somewhat personal.  It is written by a single, twenty-one year old male.  It is possible that these three credentials erase any respectability I might claim in this writ.

Continuing: A few weeks ago, one of my more conservative friends (that is a weird one to write) posted a link to this article by Mark Regnerus on a popular social networking website.  I gather that it has made its way around the Internet quite a bit, provoking a spectrum of reactions, including mine.  I had meant to write and publish this soon after reading it, but the scope of the undertaking daunted me, and even after starting it I found it difficult to finish.  It’s been long enough though, so here it is: (more…)

Spurred to write this by a quote posted by my friend Alicia.

At some point, every idealist asks him or herself: “What am I paying for moral high ground?  How much am I willing to sacrifice to uphold and honor my values? Is it worth it?”  We don’t always see immediate benefits, we are told constantly to “get real” or to “focus on the here and now” or to stop pretending because “that’s just the way things are”.  Worse, these things often come to us from those we really care about; friends, family, mentors.  Once in a while we even catch ourselves saying them.

In the deepest core of our being, we sometimes start to wonder if we have made the right decision, choosing to chase after things that don’t exist – and we wonder if it’s worth it, to never be fully satisfied.  We start to question whether we are holding out for the right things or whether everyone and everything would be better off if we just went with the flow.  Especially when opportunities present themselves for “pretty good” realities to take shape, we wonder if it would not be better if we just accepted that there will never be a perfect reality; yet there is some part of us that can’t help thinking that we’d be missing out on so much potential if we went down this path.  That ideal is still out there, somewhere, and what if by choosing to compromise now, I prevent myself from attaining it later?

“Inside every cynic, there is a disappointed idealist.”  I think that at least one component of that cynicism comes from the knowledge that your choices have consequences, and the fear that comes with that knowledge.  The fear that somehow, that disappointment is your own fault, and that it could have been prevented if only you had stuck to your guns, if only you’d had a stronger will.  Idealism can be costly; when entire realities hinge upon single decisions, it is easy to become paralyzed.

I write the above, believing myself to be some measure of idealist.  Maybe those with stronger convictions will disagree.

This summer, I again saw two musicals at the Pacific Conservatory of the Performing Arts, Les Misérables and The Music Man. The former is my favorite musical of all time (as mentioned previously here), and the latter, as I’ve said recently, is the first musical I was exposed to and is a family favorite.  I was very excited to see both of these shows, but while The Music Man delivered, I was left feeling a bit shorted at Les Mis. Presented here are some thoughts about both shows.  I’ll work my way backwards since the people searching for reviews are likely to want them for the show that is actually still playing. (more…)

“For you, that’s a menu.”

I still don’t know what she meant, the usher woman at PCPA.  I thought about it after she said it, during intermission, after the show, during the entire hour-plus ride home, and it even creeped into my head at particularly slow moments during the show.

Some context:  Today I saw The Music Man at PCPA Theatrefest in Santa Maria with my mother and her parents.  It is both my mom’s and my grandma’s favorite show, and it was the musical I “cut my teeth” on, so we were all very happy to see it.  It was, incidentally, an excellent performance, and a review is forthcoming.  More immediately interesting is this curious happening:  as we were shuffling through the tiny hallway into the theatre itself, the woman who was handing out programs with a “here you are, ma’am” and a “here you go” suddenly turned, handed me a program and quoted me this post’s anterior sentence.  Flustered, I continued my entry without a word, finally speaking in order to ask my mom if she knew what it meant, if it was some sort of thing that people say once they get older. (more…)